Happy International Women’s Day to all of you women out there, and all of you that love and respect women. What does it mean to me to be a woman? Or, more simply, who am I? At the most basic level, I am I guess a mature woman. (Do I even like that term? Not too sure). I’m a wife. I’m an ex-wife. I’m a mother to 2 children. I’m a sister, a daughter, an aunt. A pain in the ass to some, I’m sure. Am I my labels, or am I more than that? So many questions, and I guess all these questions reflect where I’ve been this past year or so, and where I’m heading, or where I’d like to be heading.
I’d like to be heading to a place where I feel confident, happy, successful, empowered. Do I feel like that? Not near as often as I would like. Like most women, I’ve gone through some tough times. Nasty divorce, job losses, heartbreaks with my children. How do I go about changing that? I’ve been working quite hard lately looking for answers, especially after a particularly nasty year last year. I don’t ever want to feel as broken as I did then. I guess this is partly why I started this blog, to be doing something purely for myself, taking control of my life. Having something nobody can take away from me, or destroy.
I’ve been really enjoying all the body-positivity out there. It’s so sad that in this day and age we supposedly even need such a thing, but we do. Getting older, with my body and face changing, this is definitely something I struggle with from time to time. It is so contradictory-on the one hand, as you age, you get more confident, and give few or no f*cks what other people think. Then on the other hand, you become your own worst critic, because you’re not the hot 20 or 30-year old you once were, or wish you had been. Or even worse, maybe you were hot, but were so lacking in self-confidence in the ignorance of youth, that you never got to properly enjoy your youth and beauty. That is a real tragedy.
As women, it’s so important that we keep supporting each other, and I think, more important, ourselves. We’ve got to be our own biggest fans. Do whatever it takes to make you feel good about yourself. Start a blog, learn to ride a motorcycle, wear that sexy dress, do that thing that you always wanted to do that you never had the balls to do, and bullocks what anybody else thinks! So I guess to me, being a woman, is a mishmash of things. I am a contradiction. I am strong, sometimes not. I’m old, but still that young girl at heart. I love my body, and sometimes I hate it. Somedays I feel like I can conquer the world, and other days I don’t want to leave the house. I’m trying to embrace all of those things, because that’s who I am. So go out there, be a woman, love your sisters, love your daughters, teach them to be badass. Love yourself, as best as you can. Hopefully it’s a wee bit more every day. xoxo
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